I got the news of my father’s massive stroke on a Monday while I was in the final stages of dismantling my life in Canada in preparation for my move to China. Indeed I got that news in the middle of listening to a song by Mike Oldfield that has since then been permanently associated with his death on Friday of that same week. (At 5:30 PM precisely because my father was nothing if not punctual.) It has, in effect, become my father’s funeral dirge in my mind. I no longer openly weep when listening to it, but I do tear up.
When the mounting terror of the opening weeks of COVID-19 was getting to me, and after I made the conscious choice not to get evacuated from China as offered by the Canadian government (because I would have felt like a coward for abandoning SO to this unknown disease), I started to feel incredibly isolated and alone. In the middle of that I was also exploring the Chinese metal scene because, hey, I had loads of spare time and searching out obscure-to-me acts was a way to take my mind off of the terror. That’s when I encountered a band that used the “English” name Zuriaake. One song in particular just connected with me musically, so I went searching for the lyrics. Then after a painfully slow process of translating them (because the lyricist/founder/vocalist of the band wrote the lyrics in Classical Chinese in the style of an ancient set of Chu elegies) the lyrics struck me like lightning. They’re almost impossible to translate in a way that gets their impact across because they’re very Chinese. Not just in language but in symbolism. But the lyrics absolutely nailed my encroaching depression and feeling of isolation.
As an example of what I mean, and keeping in mind that the lyrics are packed to overflowing with such symbolism, the song’s title alone is, roughly, “Lorn Goose”. In Chinese poetry, the wild goose often symbolizes solitude, migration, and messages from afar. A lone goose emphasizes isolation, resilience, or longing, frequently reflecting the poet’s own feelings of exile or spiritual solitude. I could not have found deliberately a poem/song that was aimed straight for my heart like this was.
I have two answers to this question.
I got the news of my father’s massive stroke on a Monday while I was in the final stages of dismantling my life in Canada in preparation for my move to China. Indeed I got that news in the middle of listening to a song by Mike Oldfield that has since then been permanently associated with his death on Friday of that same week. (At 5:30 PM precisely because my father was nothing if not punctual.) It has, in effect, become my father’s funeral dirge in my mind. I no longer openly weep when listening to it, but I do tear up.
When the mounting terror of the opening weeks of COVID-19 was getting to me, and after I made the conscious choice not to get evacuated from China as offered by the Canadian government (because I would have felt like a coward for abandoning SO to this unknown disease), I started to feel incredibly isolated and alone. In the middle of that I was also exploring the Chinese metal scene because, hey, I had loads of spare time and searching out obscure-to-me acts was a way to take my mind off of the terror. That’s when I encountered a band that used the “English” name Zuriaake. One song in particular just connected with me musically, so I went searching for the lyrics. Then after a painfully slow process of translating them (because the lyricist/founder/vocalist of the band wrote the lyrics in Classical Chinese in the style of an ancient set of Chu elegies) the lyrics struck me like lightning. They’re almost impossible to translate in a way that gets their impact across because they’re very Chinese. Not just in language but in symbolism. But the lyrics absolutely nailed my encroaching depression and feeling of isolation.
As an example of what I mean, and keeping in mind that the lyrics are packed to overflowing with such symbolism, the song’s title alone is, roughly, “Lorn Goose”. In Chinese poetry, the wild goose often symbolizes solitude, migration, and messages from afar. A lone goose emphasizes isolation, resilience, or longing, frequently reflecting the poet’s own feelings of exile or spiritual solitude. I could not have found deliberately a poem/song that was aimed straight for my heart like this was.
That’s a really interesting answer thanks ZDL. Is the song being linked to your dad more good or bad?
It’s kind of a blend.
Good: there’s always an easy way for me to remember my father.
Bad: there’s a lot of pain packed away in that song still.