This is exactly where I am. I feel more feminine when speaking naturally, without my forced, learned masculinisation, than I do when using my girl voice, which at best sounds like a small child. With my friends I’m fine, but I avoid phone calls as much as I can. Voice training only feels worthwhile for the sake of avoiding harassment in public or appeasing people who I feel might accuse me of being insufficiently feminine, and that’s just not the kind of motivation that pushes me into doing something well. Without professional speech therapy, I’m better off pausing this endeavour.