I’m going to a cabaret show tonight and I wanted to get in costume. I tried to make some fake cigarettes but now I’m worried I’ll these will make me look like a perverted vampire. What’s the consensus team?
Too different a form factor to ever think they might be tampons to me
…I don’t mean to be rude but like have you seen a tampon before?
Fake cigarettes.
👀
I’m guessing you’ve never seen a used tampon because that is not what they look like.
Mmmm…I’m pretty sure one gently dabs the end of a tampon to soak up a drop of blood at a time. That’s why women use so many, right?
/NASA scientist, nodding.
Those would be ultra super lights… about 15 minutes of use.
True. But OP hasn’t seen a burning cigarette either.
(Which is good!)
I don’t think they’ve ever seen a lit cigarette either.
Wrapped in toilet paper after use, kinda. Women always try to hide the good treats in paper, but my dog’s superior nose and teeth overcome such paltry obstacles to absolutely fucking destroy my rugs and sanity, and equally harm their own digestive tract.
lol, the reason I’m asking Lemmy isn’t because I haven’t seen either of these things, it’s to gauge how others might interpret it.
I’d say they’re fine, but if you have some yellow dye it could give a more orange color that I associate with cigs.
Unless you expect yellow lighting then you are genius.
… I don’t think anyone could mistake these for used tampons.
Maybe if they think you shove tampons up your urethra… and are of poor eyesight.
Hey Greg!
Enhance!
Enhance Enhance!
this is legit my worst nightmare
Bluntsjoints dipped in ketchup.Blunts aren’t white, joints are.
Whoops!
Definitely should have colored an orange filter and left it at that. If you wanted the extra the other end could be dipped in gray and speckled with red
This one. When not being actively puffed, the ember disappears into the ash.
There once was a vampire named Mabel
Whose periods were really quite stable
And every full moon
She would get a spoon
And drink herself under the tableEhhhh they’ll pass but I’d have used orange.
Mottled with gray
I like that these candy sticks commonly used to be sold as candy cigarettes, only for people to be outraged and so the companies changed them to generic “sticks,” just for you to go and dip the tip in red (they used to do the same, add more yellow to your red) reinventing candy cigarettes.
Ceci n’est pas une cigarette.
Well. Damn. I’ve got two of those packs in my curio cabinet, thought they were modern remakes. Nope. They clearly say “candy”, “cigarette” isn’t on the package and there are no red tips.
Think how hilariously awful it was that we kids used to “smoke” those things! Fuck it, eating one of my packs now.
Lol I used to love those things too.
Absolutely nothing like a used tampon.
You’re fine, used tampons look more like filleted slugs.
To make them more like cigarettes you could use a bit of cocoa or food grade activated charcoal for ash, or just burn the ends with a lighter. Bright yellow or orange sprinkles could be embers. Wrap brown paper around the other end for the filter.
To make them more like tampons, use them to skewer marshmallows, lightly roast over a flame until marshmallows melt together and turn yellowish with a few bubbles, then slather in cranberry sauce.
Slugs don’t have red blood, or if they do it’s not much
Used tampons are supposed to be red?
True, but slug innards are not the color of old brown blood either. Having stepped on a lot of slugs as a child… (too young to realize that they were critters, but old enough to be horrified by more info after the fact). Anyway, my feet weren’t red with the blood of slain enemies.
My mom also used to cut them in half with a butter knife to feed frogs. Wow. I guess that was a weird childhood. Maybe my memory is faulty but I seem to remember them being kind of creamy and oozy all the way through.
FTR, I am now Friend To Slugs. Also a vegetarian. These wars are all in my past.
I was trying to make a disgusting joke. I failed.
But I have a visceral, dreamlike memory of dissecting a sea slug while high on codeine for my intense cramps (it did nothing,) where the image of gelly-like brown flesh and rusty, marbled organs was reinforced immediately after when using the washroom.
Thank you for sharing your visceral memory, it raises a lot of questions. I’m happy you’ve embraced peace because slugs are neat.
Fun facts:
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A few mollusks do have haemoglobin, so their haemolymph(blood-stuff) is red. The reason most mollusk blood is green/gray/blue is because they have copper while we have iron.
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Slugs are all creamy because they don’t have a circulatory system, they’re more of a bag of fluids with some organs sloshing around inside.
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Banana slugs have the highest penis volume to body-volume ratio of any animal. When they mate, they generate flesh spears to stab into each other, which serve no apparent purpose. Whoever wins the mating (gets pregnant first) gets to eat their partner’s penis for nutrients, but it grows back.
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Don’t be shy. Go as a perverted vampire with real tampons and fake blood. Own it.
A gold or yellow wash should salvage them.
A mottled tan “filter” at the other end will also make them more cigarette-like.
