

All I can say is, you’ll still have those feelings even in a long-term after 15 years together. It’s the “grass is always greener” kinda thinking. You’re feelings aren’t invalid, but the expectations sometimes doesn’t come from reality and instead from media. We have such a screwed up view of what a relationship is “supposed to be” because of the shows and conversations we consume. Try to avoid romcoms/etc while getting your head cleared up a bit (anime’s are also bad about unrealistic relationship expectations).
The reality is you’re just two people trying to learn how to live together (either online or off), just be open and communicate properly. Saying, “Hey, I’ve been falling behind on my responsibilities and I have to focus on some stuff for the next few days” probably would’ve been a good heads up. She might’ve went to the party to distract herself from wanting to hear from you, maybe a response from not hearing from you, or maybe it’s something completely different and just wanting to experience life. Just work on communicating and excepting feedback/learning their position. That will go forward with you regardless of any outcome and will be a way to work on things.
Idk, I think society has an unhealthy view of “Could’ve”. It’s the whole crazy aspect of personal responsibilities and guilt while letting the world continue to plunder and corrupt society (like the recycling program pushes or in this case making it too difficult for children to sleep).
You didn’t sleep healthily, so why do you think you could’ve? Sure, one night you could change it up, but repeated possitve behavioral pattern changes as a youth? Very unlikely
Children have known risk/reward problems. Society demands you stay up and communicate with your peers, also demands we are interesting and have things we are interested in and spend time on. Everyone else stayed up and played/watched this thing so you’re left out if you don’t. You literally spent all day at school, homework, destressing after you get home, house responsibilities, meals, you would only have time left to go to bed. A young mind isn’t going to just resolve to getting that sleep without some irresponsible fun to be had (even staying up reading a favorite book would fall into this category so not something unrealistic for all of us to do).
I don’t wish to downplay it, but reminds me of the confusion some people have around depression. Yes, this person could totally change their life with some actions, that doesn’t get rid of the mental aspect and only pushes it further down the road. You need supporting infrastructure, routines, and allies to work on making changes. Doesn’t just come from “doing” and all.
edit: is-to be