@PP_BOY_@lemmy.world

I’ve got nipples, Greg. Can you mil- OH GOD, HE’S LATCHED ON LIKE A LAMPREY!!!

How are they already bored with invading our own cities? I’m not saying that I endorse any of this shit-show, but can we please just leave our neighbors alone?

Papa Naranja, tenemos muchos personas aqui. ¿Porque necesitas tambien chinga con los personas aya? Iqualmente, por favor no chingale con nosotros. Vayas al dormir, el viejo mejor, por favor.

From rabies

This leopard won’t eat MY face, I let it out from its cage!

Finally! I’ve been wondering when a white man, such as myself, was gonna catch a break!

Edit: oh god, this needs an /s, doesn’t it? Fucking hell, why do shit-assess like this actually exist?

We just aren’t importing enough bootstraps

He should sue them for editing his interview

My wife’s first night after moving to Texas: I’m driving her home from the airport to our apartment, it’s pretty dark already. About 30 feet away from our parking space, I see something scampering towards us, so I stop. “Oh look! An armadillo!” I exclaim.

My wife, absolutely stunned, watches and then loudly asks, “WAIT, THOSE THINGS ARE REAL?! I thought they were made up our mythical!”

Her only knowledge of armadillos was from Friends, when Ross dresses up as “the Holiday Armadillo,” because all the Santa costumes were taken. Chandler’s unfamiliarity and it being used as a substitute for Santa and… Well, I can see how the math adds up.

Anyway, her shock and wonder, as though she’d just seen a unicorn, is a memory I’ll always cherish.

Big 14??? Nah, that’s a puppy! If he enjoys the attention, give him lots of scruffle scritches and nosey kisses from me!

Hey, I’m a Texan, born and raised! And in defense of me and my like-minded friends, fuck Texas!

Take and absorb this bullet, as it is my bullet.

But what if I’m an unpopular ghoul who wants to use an elevated platform to commit crimes?

There are actual humans who are competent enough to read and understand the words in your comment, and then think that it describes two positive scenarios

That zombie makeup is insane!

I started on Mac, went to Windows, then Linux, then ChromeOS, and now back to Linux and Mac for work. I work as a web dev and my contribution to my team is my extreme ADHD

I’ll remove your post!

Hnnnnnnnnggggggg!!!

I guess I’ll keep it going. Moses means “to pull out from the water,” so he wouldn’t have been “Moses” while placing him in the basket.

Also, why would the daughter of the dude supposedly killing all of the slave babies be like, “I’m gonna name this baby using the slaves’ language.”

That ending written by the Three Stooges writers

Can’t stop here. Batshit country!