• 4 Posts
  • 471 Comments
Joined 6 months ago
cake
Cake day: January 12th, 2025

help-circle

  • From my perspective, none of what transpired was polyamorous. It sounds like she just monkey-branched you and she’s always been monogamous, and simply looked for an old flame because of all the stressors that occured (past regression I think it’s called? Some kind of withdrawal to something positive in your past when things become terrible). Either way, she has always cheated on you, and pretending to want to open up the relationship was just further deception, and only was even suggested because she was caught. People like that, give polyamory a bad name.

    I think what you should ask yourself too is, are you actually ready for a poly relationship, or even a monogamous one? To me it sounds like you’re living in a toxic environment, where she has used your feelings to keep you as a dad and provider while doing what she wants, and suffering no repercussions from her hurtful actions. Maybe you need to hear this, or maybe you’ve already heard it, but what she’s done to you is wrong, man. Very wrong. I could never do something like that to any of my partners, even if I no longer loved them the same.

    I feel like an official divorce and complete separation would be best for you before you seek out a new relationship. Polyamory takes more work and communication than monogamy, and it really doesn’t sound like you’re in the headspace at the moment.

    If you haven’t, I think you should see a therapist and talk out your feelings and get down to how your core is, and how to overcome the fear and uncertainty you still have before jumping into any relationship. Otherwise you might just be hurting yourself further in the long run.

    That’s just my opinion based on what you’ve posted though, you know you better than I of course.





  • He forgot how to use email. Once on the phone, after he finally figured out how to see my video call (he couldn’t figure out how to start his) I walked him through step by step on trying to just get rust desk - which is in the Ubuntu repository already - installed, and failed at that.

    Not only to him, but to a lot of elderly people, software is essentially magic. They don’t even quite understand the concept of “installing”. It took me awhile of explaining, with pictures and such, that a Google search isn’t run by people bringing up the information you’re looking for.

    That’s why I’ve already typed and printed detailed step by step instructions on just the installation process for the OS, so that he can follow that. He does a lot better with physical mediums, like paper, USB, and so on. He even managed to install an SSD (with my direct in person supervision) and kind of understand what that was.

    But software? Magic essentially.












  • Except it could be identify fraud. Not hard to edit the document with your picture on it instead of the rightful owners. Plus, that’s not even a federal document, and ICE is federal. Not to mention this is all trusting in your word, and his do I know you’re not just a lying immigrant? You’re not ICE after all, only they can be trusted at their word. You’re also awfully close to Canada, so you might be a Canadian white instead of an actual American. Easier for you maple syrup coated snakes to slip in undetected.

    More the reason to call them in to check if you’re legally there.