I feel this highlights the hypocrisy. Only the court jester dares tell the truth.

Also at least they get paid at the onion, I do this for fun.

Sadly we are all considering whether we should leave-o the United States-o

Oh you will love my follow up article.

For those of you reading this in 2035, a glacier is like a big natural ice cube in a mountain valley.

They’re just having the deaths they voted for, Chuck.

Probably all pissed off about the penguin tariffs.

Also if Barron doesn’t bring a cute girl home for Thanksgiving, 45% tariff on the EU. Get on it, Barron!

Get him Hokas, tell him that’s what the rich actually wear.

More of a slow collapse than a crash. Ever seen a dilapidated house on a country road, parts of the roof caving in, paint chipped, vines covering the yard? We’re working on being that house by slowly letting social and physical infrastructure in the US collapse over time.

You can keep asking, but over time you’ll learn less and less and never get the whole answer.

Have the death you voted for.

Amtrak doesn’t own the rail line in most areas, so the trains are regularly halted to allow commercial cargo to pass. I think the Zepher is last to its destination most of the time.

Some interesting history from the song (I lived there as a kid). The lyric “In Birmingham they love the governor, now we all did what we could do,” is about Wallace winning the whole state but losing Birmingham soundly. To pay them back, he shut off road funding, and for years, the interstates stopped in midair on the way into town.

Edit: to talk about the state itself, it has some of the worst roads in the nation. The beaches are flat and rather milquetoast. The pine forests are beautiful when it’s not hot and humid. There have been a number of comments about the wealth disparity, and that’s big all along the gulf of mexico.

The battleship in Mobile is pretty cool, though.

But not for a camper, sadly.

I had a few ideas to push it into the absurd territory, but I felt playing it straight was the best course of action here.

I’m not your Onion, Pal!

Knowing america has written you off is disheartening, but at least you have your fellow texans to rally together.

As an anerican my faith in the government stopping this is maybe 20%.

I salute you for accepting the world is pretty messed up. Also I kept Leo Sturbgetter out of it.

Please expand on how the highest paying research is corporate, and how that proves your point. It sounds very much like the hand-wavy stuff people say before they start yelling because they have no argument, but I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. Are you yourself a researcher?