Love ❤️

5. Staring unblinkingly into the future with tears dotting my manly cheeks

The food is perfect. But how’d you get the renaissance painting light effect?

It varies. All last week I was exhausted. I thought “oh. This must be what being old is like.” But this week I have normal energy. I’m getting stuff done and not struggling just to stay awake. So mysterious. Idk why my energy level fluctuates so much.

I try not to. Waking up is terrible. It takes me hours to wake up in the morning. And it feels awful when I wake up from a nap too. I will make exceptions when I feel terrible. And everyone here dozed all day Sunday. It was a lazy rainy day.

Do we get to choose how it’s distributed? Here are some fun options I came up with.

1. $13.69 per day for a year. (Nice). About $419/month. Maybe they could round up to $420 because they stale internet meme culture is hip

2. $0.76 per day for 18 years. A guaranteed $22.80 per month for an entire childhood

3. $5000 lump sum. I can’t find any widely accepted figures for average out of pocket cost of prenatal care, child birth, and infant health visits. I’ll wild ass guess it a at covering 20-75% of those visits for people who have insurance. For people without insurance, looks like an uncomplicated vaginal birth averages $14k. But again huge variations in price

Aaah. I made it so far but I was defeated by chess!

Between mental illness and abuse, I have no relationship with family and many have died young. There are others out there. Not having family is something that I always feel. I don’t think age has anything to do with it. In some ways I am jealous of those who have close bonds with their families, those who check in and take care of each other despite differences because they are family. On the other hand, I have some freedom. I can make my own traditions and enjoy peace during the most frenetic holiday season.

I impulse bought a kinda fancy, huge dish drying rack at the beginning of March 2020. It was a little pricey. And seemed larger than I’d ever need since I had a dishwasher. But it was there, and it was so convenient to not go to another store. Pandemic commenced, dishwasher broke, appliance shortages. Big old dish rack saved my sanity. I don’t think I’ve made a good impulse buy since

Mexico issued a warning about traveling to Texas due to measles https://www.gob.mx/salud/documentos/aviso-preventivo-de-viaje-por-sarampion-en-texas-ee-uu

Ohhh no. Glad you’re getting better though.

Thanks! I hope you feel better soon too

Choose the door that looks the most like the sweaty imprint your groin leaves on the bench

I hope you feel better soon. Funny coincidence. I bought some gym passes Friday. I was too tired to go Saturday or Sunday. Then bam. Sore throat and cough on Monday.

I think I’ll go make a cup of chamomile and lavender tea. What kind of tea are you drinking?

I’ve been sick all week. Really looking forward to this passing. Plan for the day is be warm, drink tea

I crocheted a lil granny square skull. One down. 999 to go 💀

Hill Harper disappeared. I searched for information about him everywhere - newspapers, league of women voters, vote 411. There was nothing. He did some publicity announcing his candidacy. Then for whatever reason, didn’t follow through.

Like everyone else, I miss what it was. Now i can’t connect with anyone there. The tone is so toxic. I largely stopped signing in last fall. It was feeling so gross. But I would still check in from time to time. With yesterday’s messages about censorship, I will not be signing in again. I don’t think it’s a coincidence this is happening at the same time as the take it down policy and changes in approach to cyber security

It’s a book in the “Howl’s Moving Castle” series called “the house of many ways”. It’s a kids novel so it goes fast. Seeing the read pages stack up is motivating.

Reading for pleasure. To see if I still can. To work on concentration. To escape my own thoughts. To increase discipline and learn to ignore distractions