Depression gang here. I’m in therapy. Does it help? I don’t know, but I’m also a full-time student, which at least distracts. I’m dating a guy who has my level of depression but lacks my sex drive and middle-class background, and I’ve had meaningful long-distance relationships as well, so I understand what you’re experiencing. The trouble is that depression has many causes, and if it’s chronic then you can get triggered by something and your whole day is ruined at the very least, and sometimes these spells last for months. There is no easy cure, but if he’ll listen you can give him basic advice on finding help.

I had a strong feeling of being bisexual in high school. Was totally open about it but nobody listened because I was a virgin.

I’m disappointed that there isn’t more information provided on what he looked like after 10 years. I imagine partially decomposed and not preserved since he was on the outside of the fridge. People would have smelled something for a while and probably dismissed it as food waste.

Grindr is full of kinky people. It’s also full of ad spam and bots. Scruff is a little more dignified but it’s mainly for bears, and the more attractive of them sometimes put things like “no fem” on their profiles. The only one I wouldn’t recommend is Recon, which is kink-focused, and only because I’ve never even come close to getting a date through that, though I am in the US.

Apps I haven’t tried: I hear Barq is good for furries. Feeld is a kink-focused app but I think it’s mostly straight people.

I’m sorry for all of these things you feel, some of which I too feel. Maybe you could try counseling (again, assuming that was part of your process for getting HRT). I started HRT about a year ago at 31 and I was socially transitioning for 6 months before that. I don’t trouble myself with the metaphysical, but I definitely relate to gender dysphoria and depression.

Regarding trans acceptance, I think the congresswoman’s views are maybe a bit too moderate, and civil rights are things to fight for when 1/3 of the country possibly hates us. It took over 100 years after emancipation for African-Americans to gain acceptance without segregation. In the country’s history, we have never had a woman in the White House, except for Harris’s vice-presidency. Equality takes a strong effort against the current of neo-Nazism and other brands of hatred, and I hope the many decades of trans history (when trans people have been known as such) mean enough to people that a basic level of public acceptance without open hatred can be found in the places we live.

That sucks. I’m on my way to getting counseling for some of what I feel. I’m using non-binary gender identity as a way to bridge to where I’m going, but a lot of American institutions under the dictator are forced into black-and-white logics. I can only reassure you that hairy arms are normal for most adults, including my mother. It isn’t hard to shave them, though I recommend hair removal cream around the wrist bones to avoid cuts.

I don’t tuck and don’t know beyond trusting spiro to do its job. Responding because I thought the title was “advice on fucking” which I can definitely provide. :)

A few months I was walking, possibly jaywalking, and someone shouted “BITCH!” out of their car window as they passed me. That was probably the only time I’ve ever passed for cis.

The only thing I do is makeup. It’s a skill that takes time to learn, so it accomplishes consumption of time, gender affirmation, and self-improvement.

I sympathize with these feelings, and I’m sorry you’ve had to wait so long to get this taken care of. Be confident that it isn’t that far in the future.

As for my experiences, I can personally relate to gender dysphoria but not genital dysphoria. I missed out on a lot of gay experiences when I was younger because, while I’ve always liked dicks, I’ve never seen masculinity as a positive trait, and the one gay guy I knew in high school was very masc and went to the gym and stuff. I’m dating another transfem with a similar background to my own, and (perhaps because they look more feminine than I do and have stronger dysphoria) they’re asking me to boymode, which I hadn’t done in about a year. I do it because I care about them and desperately need that relationship. (Abandonment issues.) Plus it’s just something different.

My suggestion, beyond taking solace in the fact that you have a surgery planned, is to spend time with a partner, be it someone who is trans or someone who understands the trans experience more than a completely cis person. Intimacy with someone you’re attracted to and know and understand can be therapeutic.

I’m sorry you’re going through that. Since we’re sharing… A few years ago, I (amab) started feeling really uncomfortable being called a “man” and especially the honorific “sir”, so I adopted the nonbinary label in online communities to avoid any kind of gendering. But it wasn’t enough, and almost a year after that I learned makeup techniques and bought some fem clothes at a thrift store, and things kept going in that direction without any attempt on my part to hide it.

I’m not sure I understand the truly genderless perspective of people I’ve known, but the desire to remove cisgendered attributes from one’s self is the part that resonates with me. My facial hair, my voice, and my height are all nasty reminders. I boymode when explicitly asked to (like by my partner, who is the same as me) but I don’t think I could tolerate a setting or organization trying to make me present as cis-het. I’m basically fem every day in a town that has some trouble respecting that, but I’m also attending a college where this is fairly normal.

Welcome to the club. I’m in America so obviously my experience is a bit different and there are gaps in my cultural knowledge.

1. I don’t know. Generally any LGBTQ group should suit you, and if there is a gay bar I highly recommend going. Gay/trans/queer/whatever people are all sort of part of the same community, and I guess people assume that something both NB-specific and local might not draw as large of a group, but I could be completely wrong.

2. I don’t know much about this either, except anecdotally about shorter haircuts becoming popular among American women around that time, coincident with the rise of high culture in New York and other major cities, as well as some progress in feminist movements. I imagine queer people were still closeted though.

3. I have a waist that’s anywhere from 26" to 31", equivalent to a small or medium (depending on country of origin, brand, gender, and stretch. Read the reviews.) Skirts from China tend to run small, and you should also consider that your hips are a different size from your waist. You can wear a skirt at any vertical position, but also consider that your hips might block it from going all the way up if the zipper is too small and there is no elastic.

A year ago I spent a couple hours shopping for the perfect stripper-style microskirt in my size, and while it fits perfectly, when I wear it I look like the “problem” that far-right characters are trying to “solve”. Miniskirts are acceptable for most people, microskirts are better for especially hot wearers or select settings. I’ve never been a fan of dresses, but a former AMAB partner with a similar body to what you describe ordered one that fit them perfectly. I believe they used a tape measure at different positions to get a precise size.

I never watched. I feel like there should be shows in the “new adult” category that focus more on gay dating clubbing drama and sex, with less focus on tragedy and high school bs. It’s strange to be like an exotic species in the media when irl half of the people I run into are openly queer. I don’t mean to judge but the way the book and show are marketed seems strange to me

I have an open romantic relationship with a guy I’ve known for about a year. When other people have gotten involved it’s been awkward for us, but I know that it’s necessary to not limit ourselves to the same routines day after day. Then again, I’m mtf so and we’re all different.

I cuddled him last night per your advice. I wish my cuddle powers extended to every situation.

I have a bf now, but tonight he’s watching comedy shows and smoking weed while I’d rather get more cuddles and gropes. Would be cool to get a polyamorous thing going but it would be hard for me to rope in more boys since my social skills are shit.

Yeah, I see now that my reading is a bit of a stretch but you may as well try it 🤷

I’m queer in whatever capacity you want to define. Fucking people as a top doesn’t feel right to me, regardless of gender. Maybe, like me, you’re more of a bottom.

It may have been because I was looking at it through another instance. I don’t know much about how this federation stuff works. Anyways, glad it’s back :)

Great! I’m glad it’s back (and also glad the old posts were just hidden, not deleted). Hopefully whatever moderation problems you were having will go away.